Ozzy Osbourne wants to donate his body to science when he dies!

Yup! Just like you read.

In a very unusual move, (then again, he's Ozzy Osbourne, this is actually normal!) Ozzy declared that he's a "medical miracle" for having survived alcoholism and multiple drug addictions and for that reason he will give his body to the Museum of Natural History in London, so it can
be displayed!

"I'm a miracle in every sense of the word. It's all right to party for a couple of days, but I partied for 40 years! There was a time that I drank 4 bottles of cognac daily!" said the musician.

He also commented on his drug use in recent years. "While filming The Osbournes, I was hooked to 42 types of prescription and over-the-counter drugs, not to mention, all the stuff I smoked when the cameras were far away or not rolling."

The Museum of Natural History has yet to comment.

Man used his penis to attack a female police officer!

Because it's St. Patrick's Day, we featured a story about stupid drunk people. Feast your eyes on this!

Via BBC News

A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600. (About US $1,200)

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.

Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.

I'm still ROTFLMAO on this one! Especially about the officer taking "Evasive Action..." Hilarious!!!!

There's lice all over the building...KARATE CHOP!!!!

Alcohol and Russians don't mix. Consider this news story from Moscow...

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian karate expert has been charged with beating to death a 61-year-old woman and her son, whom he accused of infecting his wife with lice, an investigator said Friday.

The drunk 26-year-old burst into a neighboring room in his hostel Tuesday and used karate moves to kill the pair, state investigator Eduard Abdullin said by telephone from Kazan, a city 700 km (430 miles) east of Moscow.

"He literally beat them to death with his hands and feet," Abdullin said. "The family were poor and drank a lot. He blamed them for infecting his wife and the entire corridor with lice."

The 58-year-old husband of the dead woman was also badly beaten, but survived.

The suspect, who studied karate for seven years, faces life in prison if convicted, Abdullin added.

Man...stupidity is running rampant!

The SMURFS made me do it!!!!

You can't make this s$#@ up!!!

HAILEY - Hailey Police say a woman battered a security guard, took off her clothes, punched two officers and bit a deputy. Now, Lori Brutsche-Ely, 41, faces several charges.

Hailey Police Chief Jeff Gunter tells NewsChannel 7 Brutsche-Ely was intoxicated Halloween night at the Chester Jakes restaurant in the Mint Bar when she got out of control.

Gunter says when the security guard called police -- she took off her clothes in the bar. When officers approached her, Gunter says she punched one of them in the chest.

The Idaho Mountain Express reports that once she got to the jail, Brutsche-Ely bit a deputy and also managed to set off a fire sprinkler, causing her jail cell to flood.

Brutsche-Ely is charged with four counts of battery, obstructing and resisting arrest and indecent exposure. She has bonded out of jail.

DAMN!!!
And what did you do on Halloween?

More Porta-baby news...just when you thought throwing your bathwater was safe...

EFE in Spain has this surprising news. In Warsaw, Poland, a Drunken couple threw their two week old baby out of the window of their apartment in their drunken stupor. Authorities said that the baby was still alive when the rescue services arrived, but the child died a few hours after the incident, due to the masive injuries sustained.
The Couple and the Grandmother(who was also in the house, drunk as a skunk), were arrested and charged with manslaughter in the 2nd. degree and child neglect and abuse.

How about a firing squad for these Einsteins?